Updated June 8, at 4:02pm

Seeing is Believing – Analysis Sample – Incomplete Essay

Seeing is Believing

From a very tender age up until of late, I used to believe in so many things which I had not put to test yet. I was so positive with life, always believing in everything for the mere beauty of how sincere it looked. Sometimes I would simply believe everything because I was told, not considering the fact that anything emanating from a human being can either be the truth or the opposite of the truth-lies. It always caught me by surprise when I would be brought back into reality with the fact that all I had thought to be true was a mere factor of letting things flow in the right direction to please me-but not a reality of the same.

Not only did I believe everything I heard but I would also believe that there are people in this world who are stronger than others in each and every single way. I believed that they were stronger in all aspect; emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. I believed that even when shaken, my father was the strongest man in the world. I was little boy by then and I did not know that he also was human and that he had a weakness.

From the time I was a small boy, I viewed my father as being a hero and a legend at the same time. He was big physically, rich and had the power to do anything. To me, there was no one on this earth like him. I feared him because he was a no nonsense man. He did not entertain any form of failure. These are some of the qualities that made him respected and feared by everyone around him. Even my very own mother feared him in a way. I would notice her change of behavior in my father’s presence, for instance, my mum would address us different while my father was present.

There was no mountain that my father could not move and this had built inside me so much so that I started to view him as a point of reference in everything that I did. He did everything perfectly as I thought. My father would not put up with any form of indiscipline neither would he tolerate any form of failure in school work. He viewed failing exams as lack of respect for school work and would reprimand us whenever we failed our exams. I remember once I came second position after doing my examination, he gave me long lectures and even threatened to beat me up for failing. “Dad I came second out of forty two students” I remember saying once. “I will not entertain that kind of nonsense” he always said to me.

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B-
Andrew Takada Jan 26, at 15.22

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  • Content: Generalized words, words that are not needed, and making your writing clear.
  • Grammar: Punctuation, syntax, and capitalization.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Cliche word and not needed. Look at our guide on vigorous writing for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/essentials/vigorous-writing.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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content

I did not understand what you mean. Read our guide on clarity for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/essentials/clarity.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Don't use words such as "always" and "never" as they are usually not correct. See our guide on the essentials of writing for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/good-writing.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

This idea needs to be clarified, as it seems confusing to readers.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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grammar

Confusion of plurals and singulars. See our guide on subject-verb agreement for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/subject-verb-agreement-grammar-handbook-free.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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grammar

Incorrect use of the semicolon. Check out our guide on semicolons for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/semicolons.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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content

It is unclear what you mean.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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content

Both of these words are fairly similar. I would suggest you to read our guide on repetition: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/repetition.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
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content

Generalized word.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
grammar

Should be capitalized. See our guide on capitalization: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/essentials/capitalization.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
grammar

Awkward word order. Check out our guide on syntax: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/syntax.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Generalized word.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Generalized word.

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