Jimmy Chu asked 5 years ago
Is this a good thesis statement?
Statistics have clearly outlined repetitively by the Australian government that people who are under 18 years of age have the highest driving death rates in our country and this number has excelled in the past 5 years. Do you want to be next? Well, driving requires two main things: a license and your age. The age of 18, argued by many different cultures and societies is the rightful age of adulthood, the age of decision making and the age of a critical thinker. All these reasons are why the driving age in Australia should be 18, this should ensure the Australian public that they will almost never have to witness another car accident or death.
Nicholas Staff answered 5 years ago
As a thesis statement, it is quite long. Usually, thesis statements are only 1-2 sentences. Here is my edit of your paragraph:
Statistics have clearly outlined repeatedly by the Australian government that people who are under 18 years of age have the highest driving death rates in the country and this number has grown in the past 5 years. Do you want to be next? Well, driving requires two main things: a license and your age. The age of 18, argued by many different cultures and societies, is the rightful age of adulthood, the age of decision-making and the age of critical thinking. All these reasons are why the driving age in Australia should be 18. This should ensure the Australian public that they will almost never have to witness another car accident or death.
However, your last sentence is a big leap.