What is wrong with this motivation letter

There is a famous quote of Russian poet A. Blok “Peace but a dream”. And I stick with this principle all my lifelong. At my teenage years I came to conclusion that I need to do something meaningful in my life. So I adhere to the concept to work as hard as I can until I reach all my planned or unplanned goals to make personal contribution to my country.
Majority of people in Kyrgyzstan believe that the “time” will change everything. We have had time and history (2 revolutions in one decade) as well, but there are no big changes. Culture matters, somebody says, and it can be the essential aspect for the people of a land to be united. We have got 5000 years of cultural values, but who could testify about modifications? Unfortunately, such values like democracy, multiculturalism, human rights and transparency of government – originates from slogans, citations  and issues that are all only on the paper. But actual problems in my homeland are tribalism, corruption, unemployment, common Islamization and etc.  Kyrgyzstan have them all had since the collapse of the Soviet Union, but what type of reorganization  have been come in Kyrgyzstan ? Stating such crucial questions are every Kyrgyz intellectual’s realistic dilemma, but who can trodden the path to find the decision or just could determine them? The only one is, a good leader (to my opinion a communicated team-leaders).
My determination to study in this specific Master Program comes from the fact that Kyrgyzstan needs some innovative leaders who have new idea or new method to solve problems. Also master of political philosophy in Kyrgyzstan is needed because of the several reasons:
1. By my knowledge of political philosophy, from day to day, transformations will come to the way of leadership and monitoring from self-leading to a team-leadership.
2. Me, as a newborn leader, will fill the deficit of engaged and educated government forces, and expedite the growth of rebuilding in a new path.
3. The possible chance and succeeding results will transform a great part of Kyrgyzstan citizen’s lives.

               In my view Kyrgyzstan is in pain of political corruption, although a big number of international assets are submerged to escape governmental crime or bribery. After I come back to my motherland from Germany, at first appearance, I would form a decision-making group, let’s say, by assembling new concepts and ideas, especially from young generation; I would have a notably solid thinking strength to program issues. Then, at first step, I will arrange some symposium in order to notify the educated people about how to do well in a country which past in one decade two popular revolutions. Also, at second step, I would assist suburban people, if I were selected after graduation from Germany, and (as I hope to be in big cities) how to courageously engage and favorably coup with their problems. I assume that only some parts of all the money from aids funds spending annually would be content Kyrgyz needs, decrease the rate of unemployment, legal or general illiteracy, and inefficient outcomes in common if they contribute in two fields of good governance and good leadership; and make the international society more promising of the future of Kyrgyzstan.

Stimulated by my final project and the socio-politic surroundings I live in, where the questions of political ethics and human rights are always lifted, I concluded to enroll in the Master program in Philosophy. I am extremely interested in MA studies at Ruhr University at Bochum because it is an exceptional program that supposes multidisciplinary studying in the framework of culture over the large diapason of subjects I am interested in, studies like philosophy, politics, economics and law.
Moreover, I intend to continue my research work in political ethics field. The important purpose of my future education is to build up valuable research experience and deepen my knowledge on political philosophy. I am positive in acquitting myself satisfactorily in accepting this scholarship. I will endeavor to adjust myself to your new surroundings as soon as possible and to reach productive academic representation. It is my belief that Ruhr University will transmit to me progressive knowledge, widen my academic prospects, and improve my research potential.
As my understanding of politics and philosophy deeps, I have come to conclude that politics and international relations are the main strengths behind the progress of the considerable powers of the modern world and this implementation controls my responsibility to the study of political science and philosophy as my long – lasting career.
            Kyrgyzstan’s social and economic development requires cooperation with the international community. It is important for Kyrgyzstan to realize the prevalent international trends and fully use diplomatic arsenal. After accomplishing my expected program, I will also pursue a teaching and research career in Kyrgyzstan to study and to define this briskly changing world. I deeply appreciate for the chance to continue my study abroad because the opportunities in my homeland are quite limited.
 
 
Thank you very much for considering my application.
Yours sincerely,
Asel Islamkhanova