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By Johannes Helmold
As a parent, we have to be aware of the many styles of parenting that exist. There is no style that fits every child’s needs, and we should adapt our parenting style to our children and our own personality. There is also nothing wrong with mixing styles. To elaborate, there are four main styles of parenting: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative. Let us delve into each of these styles to understand how we can become better parents, and to comprehend our mistakes in raising our children.
Authoritarian parenting is perhaps the most aggressive and strict style of raising children. It is only recommended when a high amount of discipline is needed in order to correct a child. According to VeryWellMind, “Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style characterized by high demands and low responsiveness. Parents with an authoritarian style have very high expectations of their children, yet provide very little in the way of feedback and nurturance. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly” (Cherry, Kendra, and Steven Gans). Unfortunately, when feedback is given to a child, it is commonly in the form of yelling and other aggressive acts. Though children of authoritarian parents might succeed in society at higher rates, they will often carry a lifetime of animosity towards their parents and develop deep psychological issues.
The opposite of authoritarian parenting is permissive parenting. In order to not tamper with a children’s happiness or satisfaction, parents sometimes will be involved in their children’s lives without setting many limits on them. Based on Vanderbilt University’s studies, “These parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving” (Vanderbilt University). The negatives of this approach are a lack of self-control and patience in the future. Parents might also be tied down by fear, feeling afraid to do anything against the wishes of their children.
Similar to permissive parenting, uninvolved parenting implies putting the raising of children in the back of one’s mind. For many reasons, parents consider parenting only a side deal in comparison to their careers and other life aspirations. According to Momjunction, “A parenting style where the child does not get an adequate amount of emotional support, physical time of the parent, basic needs such as food, shelter, health care, childhood play, and academic support, can be termed as being neglectful. Neglectful parenting, or uninvolved parents have the least amount of involvement or response towards their children’s needs. They just provide the most basic of facilities but no room or opportunity for recreational and developmental activities” (Awasthi, Deeksha). In this form of parenting, discipline rarely has a place, and hardly any demands are put on children. Parents who follow this style commonly are emotionally detached, and are usually recommended to seek psychological help.
Not too different from the authoritarian style, authoritative parenting combines responsiveness with demands. It is commonly the most recommended parenting style, as it sets limits for children, while offering them support. According to Parenting for Brain, “Studies have found that preschoolers raised by authoritative parents tend to be happy and content, are independent and self-reliant, develop good social skills,have good emotional regulation and self-control, express warmth and cooperate with peers, explore new environment without fear, and are competent and assertive. Older children with authoritative parents achieve higher academic success, engage more in school activities. develop good self-esteem, have better mental health — less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, delinquency, alcohol and drug use, interact with peers using competent social skills, and exhibit less violent tendencies” (Parenting For Brain). As you can see, this parenting style leads to the most benefits with the least amount of disadvantages.
There are many occasions to go to extremes while parenting. With four distinct parenting styles—authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative—there is a range of methods for raising children. It has been shown, though, that perhaps authoritative parenting is the most healthy of all the options.
Cherry, Kendra, and Steven Gans. “What Is Authoritarian Parenting?” Verywell Mind, Verywellmind, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritarian-parenting-2794955.
“Types of Parenting Styles and How to Identify Yours.” Feminism and Film, Vanderbilt University, my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/.
Awasthi, Deeksha. “Uninvolved Parenting Style – Traits And Effects on Children.” MomJunction, Incnut Incnut, 2 June 2017, www.momjunction.com/articles/how-does-uninvolved-parenting-affect-your-child_00375435/#gref.
“What Is Authoritative Parenting? (Examples).” Parenting For Brain, 28 Jan. 2018, www.parentingforbrain.com/authoritative-parenting/.
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