Something Nobody Knows About Me

secret“Be yourself” is perhaps one of the most popular and well-known slogans. It is also a common piece of advice given in cases when one does not know how to behave, or how to get out of a difficult situation. In other instances, individuals say, “be yourself,” not knowing how to achieve the same for themselves. The reason for this, in my opinion, is that playing roles in public has become a necessary part of modern life. Due to many factors—a feeling of insecurity, humbleness, forced necessity—we often have to behave not as we would like to. Some of us slightly correct our usual behavior to match the current situation and environment; others develop brand new social roles, pretending to be personalities they never were before in reality. This leads to situations in which people, due to personal reasons, hide their original habits or behaviors; and thus, everybody has something that nobody else knows about.

I am no exception to the supposed majority of people who rarely show what they have in their hearts. It is interesting to watch how my friends, family, and coworkers perceive me, and at the same time to know at some points they are rather far from the truth. A simple example: some of my friends tend to see me as a constantly merry, optimistic person who can always find an exit from any situation. They are right to a significant extent; however, what they most likely do not know about me is that sometimes my optimism and humorous attitude can be a facade hiding stress and unsolved problems, or my inability to make a decision.

What other people also do not know about me is that it can be extremely difficult for me to listen to what other people say in earnest, especially when I already have my own opinion on a particular subject, or when a person says something nonsensical (in my opinion). In such cases, I do my best not to insult those whom I talk to, but in my mind, I want them either to be silent, or to express my own opposing opinion.

Luckily, these are perhaps the most serious misconceptions other people have about me—I do my best to remain myself, as I believe this is the only way one can be happy. But, of course, I have other lesser habits and oddities that I keep in secret. For instance, men are usually not supposed to be prone to shed tears; however, sometimes I feel that I am about to cry—mostly due to the solemnity or sadness of the moment. This happens rather often when watch films or read books. Every time Boromir dies or Rohirrims charge the armies of Mordor (I just love “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy) I feel my eyes becoming wet. Every time I see news about a man or a woman who risked their lives to save somebody, I quickly check if nobody saw my tears. A return of a panda family to a forest can cause me to shed a tear of happiness as well. I have no idea why it happens, but it is one of my reactions to some beautiful and inspiring moments.

By the way, my wife just loves watching sad movies with me—I think because of the aforementioned reason. It is not so bad, but I would be embarrassed if somebody else learned about this peculiarity of mine.

This is what usually comes to my mind when I think about those sides of my personality that I usually do not show to other people. Maybe I have missed something important—but let secrets remain secrets.

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