Updated March 17, at 8:01pm

Short Story Analysis

The Survivor

I awoke sweating, shivering. A silver bearded old man in flowing blue robes crouched over my bed, the golden yellow flame of a flickering candle glinting in his eyes. As my heart slowly settled he whispered gently.
Come child. You are safe: the Order is caring for you now. No more nightmares. Sleep now. Sleep.’
It was difficult to sleep in those early days. My family had sailed north with dreams of a new life, a fresh start away its old troubles. Instead the chilling, frost tipped northern seas sundered those hopes, alongside the hopes of a hundred other souls. The memories were always so clear, so vivid. Every time I closed my eyes they were there. Waiting.
The creak of the Lady Kynarra’s aching hull as our passage raced through furious seas towards the safe haven of St. Verlox; clinging desperately to my mother, trembling in her warm embrace; my father reassuring us as he left to seek out the Captain.
As a distant glimmer of land cheered the weary passengers there came a thunderous crash. Thrown from my mother’s arms, I scrambled groggily to my feet. For the briefest of moments it seemed to become calm – there then came a second, more devastating crash. Splintered wood, darkness, screams, foaming water, terrified faces they all flashed before me. Even as a child I knew what death looked like; I waited for it to take me.
Only three people were washed ashore with the shattered tinder that was once the Lady Kynarra. My mother and father weren’t amongst them. I was suddenly alone. My entire world now confined within the thick, foreboding walls of the St. Verlox orphanage.

Guess at Grade
A-
Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22

What to Work on:

  1. Punctuation: You had many instances of misused punctuation.
  2. Content: Be aware of cliched and generalizing words. Also, be sure that the reader can understand everything that you write.

Your statistic:

80%
Grammar
100%
Organization
100%
Style
80%
Content
100%
Research

Customer feedback

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
nice
content

Nice description and pacing.

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
grammar

It is better to use full quotation marks here. Refer to our guide on this subject for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/english-quotation-marks.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Don't know what you mean by "its" here. Check out our guide on clarity for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/essentials/clarity.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
content

Using the word "always" is dangerous and cliched. Read our Words to Avoid guide for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/words-to-avoid-in-academic-writing.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
grammar

The usage of the semicolon mark in this sentence is not correct. Look at our guide on semicolons for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/semicolons.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
warning
grammar

This is supposed to be an em dash, not an en dash. Look at our guide on dashes for help: http://academichelp.net/general-writing-tips/grammar-handbook/dashes.html

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Nicholas Klacsanzky Jan 26, at 15.22
nice
content

Good emotional writing without speaking directly about emotions.

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