How Not to Write Descriptive Essays

By Nicholas Klacsanzky

how to write descriptive essayWhat can be easier than describing something? If I was asked to teach somebody how to write descriptive essays, I’d get paid just for telling people to shut up, open their eyes, and write about what they see. It is just that simple; no long tutorials, no smart techniques, no hidden catches. Still, sometimes I run into unique individuals who manage to screw up even such an easy task. Seems like they all are zealots of the…

Wrong Way to Write Descriptive Essays

1. Write about something you’ve never seen with your own eyes. For example, if you have never seen the Tianshan Mountains, you simply must choose them as your subject! Writing about something everybody’s already seen is not a challenge; writing about esoteric stuff is brave and cool.

2. Write about your subject’s history, about your opinion on it, your dog’s reaction, about a bunch of other random stuff, but don’t mention what exactly you are writing about. Let your readers guess themselves–it’s so much fun for them! Especially for teachers.

3. You don’t need a plan or something to write an effective description essay. In each paragraph, you can simply blab on whatever you can think of regarding (or not) your subject.

4. A good idea is to pick some random detail and dig into it to the max. Like when you describe some species of fish, you can focus on the color of its scales, and why this species has developed this color, and how this fish feels with the scales of such color, and what you personally think of it, and what your mom says.

5. Sometimes you just don’t have time to expand on one subject too much. So, in order to save time, it’s okay to write in general phrases. Like, “The Tianshan Mountains are very high and beautiful. This is a beautiful mountainous region, where there are many mountains that are pretty high.” If you can write five paragraphs like this, you are definitely a genius–your teacher will appreciate it.

6. By the way, it is not necessary to write concluding paragraphs in descriptive essays. Or, if you are told to do so, then you can just re-describe everything.

7. Don’t bother yourself with searching for synonyms or more precise words to describe your subject. People usually don’t speak the language you are ought to use in descriptive essays.

Trust me, I’ve seen tons of essays written like this. Many of them are fun to read, so if you feel like entertaining your teacher, bravely follow the recommendations above.

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