Writer Stereotypes (part 2)

By Nicholas Klacsanzky

list of writer stereotypesPart 1 was dedicated to rules any real writer should observe to build up and maintain his or her creative reputation. Today, I am going to talk about things real writers must avoid by all means. “What?! More rules?” you might ask me. “Yep. Being a writer is not about unicorns and rainbows,” is my answer to you.

1. A real writer must never be interested in popular media products, like TV shows, or music. If you’re a fan of “Sex and City,” you are not a writer, and have no chances to become one. The same refers to music; you must listen only to no-name garage bands with no more than five fans, otherwise you can’t call yourself creative.

2. A real writer must not communicate with people who are not creative. Office workers, technicians, and janitors can’t be your friends (and you must never admit they can actually write much better than you).

3. A real writer must not have healthy hobbies (like jogging, or going to a gym, or practicing yoga, or whatever). Self-destruction is poetic and suitable for a true creative, bohemian writer. Caring about health is for losers and office workers.

4. A real writer never cares about how he or she looks. In fact, the worse you look, the more creative you are. Old shapeless cardigans, torn jeans, worn out sneakers, checkered lumberjack shirts–this is the choice of a real writer, regardless of their gender. If you don’t have old clothes, go buy something new and make it look old, or you’re not a true writer.

5. A real writer must not be an easy-going person. Real writers never act friendly and easy; on the contrary, they speak in hints and metaphors (or don’t speak much at all) and appear sullen.

6. A real writer never cares about money or any other material values. Besides, it is a perfect excuse for not being published, lying on a couch for days, not looking for a job, living on your parents’ and friends’ account, and being “bohemian” in other similar ways.

7. A real writer never uses such fruits of technological progress as smartphones, tablets, or laptops for writing. An old typewriter, or a 1984 Macintosh–this is a true tool for a true writer.

Okay, I am going to stop here, otherwise you might change your mind about being a writer, and want to become an artist. Haha, I have rules for artists too, so stay updated!


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